Some self created medical cures

A few weeks back, a friend of mine was having a great time with the alcohol. They ended up having too much fun, so they were curious as to how to stop or get rid of a hangover. I told them my self created way of preventing the hangover, and it grossed them out (which can be fun in itself). Over the last couple of weeks I've had some personal issues that required some self created medical cures, so I thought I'd share three of them with you.



First, the hangover. I know this might be hard to imagine, but going through college, I enjoyed an "occasional" beer, or 6. I'm not exactly sure how I figured out my cure, but it absolutely works for me, every single time. Here's the deal. Drink all you want, or all that you can handle. Now, your body will let you know (at least it should) when you've reached maximum intake level. When you reach that point, the first thing you "need" to do is go make yourself barf. No big deal, but you have to do it. I can say that one of the things I learned while in college was to barf on command. What a talent, eh? Anyway, barf it all out. Second, get a big glass of Milk (yes, milk), and down it. Then you down a couple of tylenol. Finally, sleep sleep sleep. I promise you, I never once woke up with a hangover.



The next one is poison oak. Something I learned at an early age is that I can develop poison oak rashes without ever touching the dayam plant. It got to a point where all I needed to happen was for someone to mention poison oak, and I was toast. Now I'm sure everyone knows about the pink goo that you're supposed to layer over your body. Bah!! That stuff is crap. What you need is simple bleach. Yes, bleach. Grab the cotton ball, soak in some bleach, and rub away. Now, obviously, you don't want to pour the bleach on yourself. Just dab at the rash with the cotton ball. Oh, don't let it drip onto your clothes. Funny little white streaks appear. Imagine that. No, it will not turn your skin white. The bleach basically dries out the skin, which in turn, dries out the rash. And of course, try not to breath in the bleach. Blehh. Let the bleach settle for a few minutes, then hit the shower. Get that water as hot as you can possibly stand it, then a little hotter, and let it pound away at the infected area. Itch goes bye-bye for a while, and rash dries up pretty quickly.



Last one is my ever faithful ear infection. I've probably had more ear infections in my life than the combined ages of anyone who reads this. And I'm not joking either. All those midnight trips to the Emergency Room, sitting there for 3 hours, finally get seen by the doctor. After a minute they would look at me and say, "Hey, you have an ear infection." Duh, ya think? Maybe that explains the daggers poking out of my ear drums. It got to a point where I would simply walk into the doctor's office, tell them I had an ear infection, tell them to give me amoxicillin, and I would be on my way. But no, they would insist on looking anyway. Silly docs.

Anyway, I'm rambling...

So, if you'd like to prevent the midnight or weekend trips to the emergency room, so you can wait to see your primary care physician (why can't they just be called "doctors") here's what you do. Lay down, with bad ear pointed to the ceiling. Grab the Hydrogen Peroxide (oh yes, I said hydrogen peroxide). Pour a capful of peroxide in the infected ear. Now, if the ear is truly infected, then you will actually hear something more loud than a bowl of rice crispies (and I'm not talking about the screams you let loose when the peroxide goes in). You will hear the snap-crackle-pop going off in your brains. Now, if you're lucky enough to have someone with you, or lucky enough to be the one watching the person drop the peroxide in, one of you will be able to see the bubbling action going on. From what I understand, it's pretty cool. I wouldn't know, because I'm always the one getting the peroxide dropped in. Now, leave the peroxide in until the bubbling stops, or, if the ear infection is bad enough, the peroxide completely evaporates. Drain the ear, and repeat one more time. Once done, tylenol/aspirin, and try to relax. For you adventurous types, moan and whimper quite a few times, so that you can gain control of the television, or have someone bring you a meal in bed, whatever ya like. I guarantee that after a day or two, the ear will be better, or at least, enough pain will disappear so that you don't have to make those midnight or weekend runs to the emergency rooms.

Now, like anything, there's always an exception. Something that works for me won't necessarily work for someone else. But if you haven't tried these before, give them a shot. Let me know what happens.

Good doctoring to you