You called the police for what?

The life of a small town police officer. Working in a department that has fewer members than you have fingers, provides the opportunity to respond to the types of calls that officers in the big cities would never dream of responding to. Sure, we get the occasional "news-worthy" incident, but if COPS were to come here to film an episode, it could easily take a month to get a collection of incidents worthy of national television.

But every once in a while, we get the phone call that makes us forget exactly what type of patch or badge we are wearing on our shirt.

In the small town, during a winter storm, when the power disappears from a house, we get the phone call that states, "Hey, we just lost power to our house." What would the normal response be? Well, I'd usually say something like, "Did you call PG&E?" Inevitably their response to that would be, "No, I don't want to wait on hold. Can't you fix it?"

Then we will get the call that states, "I think my sewer line is leaking/is plugged". I think you know what my question would be. "Did you call public works, or a plumber?" "No, but can you come take care of it?" It's funny, but I don't remember any scenarios from the academy where we demonstrated our ability to fix a power line, or unclog a sewer.

Now, don't get me wrong. I still go. And usually when I get there, I'll look at the situation for a moment, and say, "Yep, you've got a problem here." I'll then make the phone call that is needed. But it just makes me wonder.

But I think the best mind-numbing phone call that was received went something like this. A "be on the lookout" was put out by the county dispatchers for a vehicle with 3 occupants. The vehicle and occupants were wanted for an "assault with a deadly weapon" that had just occurred. So you have several officers from several agencies scrambling to various areas of the county, watching for the wanted vehicle. While I'm in my super-secret-squirrel hiding place, watching the highway, I was advised by my dispatcher that they had just received a 911 call from a resident. This person called 911, because they had a Tarantula outside of their laundry room door. Yes, the big furry spider. Yes, outside the laundry room door. Key word is "outside", as in, outside in the back yard. "Ma'am, you called 911 because a spider is at your door?" Of course, I avoided asking the question, "What does the spider want?"

Now, I'm not particularly a fan of spiders, and I know plenty of people that would rather just turn and run away from them (including an officer in my department, but that's a story for another time). But a phone call to 911. Really?